Time Was...

There was a time in my life when I believed in the words of others...I owned them..they were written in my heart, unquestioned. Of course, the golden and precious words, I Love You...sacred words, never to be confused with I Like You..never to be misrepresented as true, when not ....Mothers say I love you...and all that they do after that is said must be part of the loving...lovers say those words..and sometimes it gets confusing because it doesn't feel like love...I was told to never say I love you unless I meant it..and don't waste it on foods, books, clothes..mundane things...Love, and saying it was, well, special.

Friends say loving things too..time was when I believed in the specialness of friends...real friends...like a trust or love thing...special. And children..family...those were all in that special words, Hallmarky category..sacred....and Time Was...a LONG Time it Was..that it was all I knew, all I believed in (besides God and all that)

Well, one day, or week or year, I began to see some flaws..little ones, then huge ones...words..yes WORDS...didn't count...for anything! Nothing!! I love you could be said, but the actions of the sayer..felt to me like I Hate you or I love Me...the words of my life and the speakers in it..didn't match...with their actions..lots and lots of the words were wrong...I started to think..don't say those words to me...just show me...see how the folks are acting with NO words...Time Was..well, Time Was teaching me something..showing me something..Time Was helping me grow up and become real, with real meanings and real people...not just words, not just labels...there was a time, when I was a child, when I was blind...but now I see.